Chapter 5

Marco looked nervously at the mountainous bouncer who was patting down the inside of his jeans.
‘Empty out your pockets’ he said, emotionless. Marco didn’t resist. It’s impossible not to feel guilty in these circumstances, he thought as they slipped through the heavy red velvet curtains which clung to the door’s entrance.

‘What the hell was that about?’ Marco said to Matt as soon as they were safely inside.

‘He was checking for drugs. They act like the fucking police but it’s all a scam. The bouncers confiscate them on the outside and you end up buying them back from one of their dealers on the inside.’

Marco’s heart was still racing slightly. The same way it did whenever he saw police lights in the rear view mirror of his car. Even when he knew he was completely innocent. He felt guilty by circumstance.

The club was smaller than what he would have imagined for a London club. There was probably only room for a hundred or so people at most. The bar was tucked into one end against a brick wall with up shining lights. On either side of the room a series of booths were filling up with anticipation. Marco slid in beside Abi. For a while they sat there in the semicircle of the booth, not talking, staring outwards and listening to the music.

All around them people were doing the same. As if waiting for some eagerly anticipated performance to start but still not entirely sure who was supposed to be playing. Every so often and with increasing regularity groups of threes, fours and fives trickled in to the bar and Marco felt proud and relieved that he too was part of a group going out in London on a Saturday night instead of sitting home alone like the sad, pathetic loser, hoping desperately for an invitation which never materialised.

‘Here you are mate’, Matt said sliding his hand discretely under the table and putting a small pill in Marco’s hand. ‘Put it in your pocket for later.’

Marco looked down at his hand, before looking back up at Matt. His expression must have given him away.
‘Don’t worry mate you’ll have the night of your life.’
Marco smiled nervously and slid the pill into his front left pocket. He decided not to ask any more questions.
Beyond the booths and the bar the rest of the club made up the dance floor with the exception of a small raised corner which held the dj´s pulpit. A few people were milling around, willing the music to pick up but it was still too early for anyone to really dance. Rather, the booths were filling up with anticipation, people sipping away at cocktails, people watching. Waiting for the DJ to lift the music and draw them out onto the dance floor which he seemed in no great hurry to do. Rather he was content to watch the crowd building, occasionally playing something flirting with danceable before slowing things down again.
‘Here Matt let me give you some money? Marco said fumbling into his bag for his wallet as Matt placed a cocktail in front of him.
‘No need my friend.’
‘No come on Matt please take it.’ Marco didn’t want to be an extra expense to Matt. It was kind enough of him to take him out with his friends without having to pay for everything.

‘Relax mate. I invited you out tonight, you’re my guest. Once you start earning some decent money you can pay me back. Though
of course I’ll expect an invite to Italy after this!?

‘You’ve got it.’ Marco said, not sure what else he could say. He hated having other people pay for him. Even in situations like this where it was done without a trace of resentment. Matt was genuinely happy to do it. But it was more than that. Every drink that he couldn’t buy himself was a reminder of how things weren’t working out for him. It would take him nearly two hours work to afford a cocktail. So there was no point being proud. The truth was he couldn’t afford it and the best thing was to promise himself that when he had money he would take Matt out and pay for his drinks for a night. Beyond that there was nothing he could do.
‘What is this drink’, Marco asked trying to push the guilt from his mind and poking at the thick slurry of ice in his glass with his straw.
‘A Mojito, hope you’re not allergic to rum?’
‘Not that I know of.’
As Marco fought his way through the mint and ice Matt leaned in a little closer and told him to take his pill with his drink. Marco nodded and felt nervous. He had never taken drugs before. It was not that he was naïve or against it in any way. He knew all about the scene and half the guys in his building seemed to be almost permanently wasted on one thing or another. It was just that he had never really had the opportunity and hadn’t really given it a lot of thought since getting to London. He looked up at Matt again and then, lowering his head down to table height as if checking for something in an imaginary bag at his side, put the pill in his mouth and washed it down with a sip of Mojito. Apart from a brief unpleasant taste he could have been taking an aspirin and had no idea what to expect next.

‘Now try to relax and focus on the music’, Matt said, gazing over Marco’s shoulder at a group of girls in the next door booth, one of whom had been staring at Matt before looking away mock-coyly and taking a sip from a pink concoction in an elaborate glass.

‘You may have to play wingman later mate’ Matt whispered to Marco under his breath.

‘Wingman?’

‘Ah, sorry mate, it means you’ll have to come along with me when I go and chat to that one over there with the pink drink. Wingman is like being someone’s backup when they go to chat someone up. Surely you have wingmen in Italy?’

‘Yeah of course we do. Ok, no problem but don’t be surprised if she chooses me!. You know girls love the Italian accent!’

‘You ungrateful little bastard!’ Matt said with a smile.

Without noticing any particular change the night began to speed up for Marco. The music had passed seamlessly from chilled to upbeat and every time he looked up from the conversation there seemed to be another dozen people in the club, seemingly fashioned out of thin air. Once again they had become blockaded into their booth by people milling around the dance floor and Marco could feel the music beginning to take over his interests as he struggling to pay attention to the conversation being thrown around the table. Instead he was fixed on the DJ, moving his eyes and thoughts around the bar, watching a lone dancer, moving back and forward to the music on the dance floor, seemingly oblivious to the dozens of people watching her. She was fearless. Not in the least self conscious that she was dancing alone in a bar full of people. Marco watched her swaying and moving from one foot to another, eyes closed, a deep set smile on her face. She was beautiful and Marco wanted to be out there dancing with her. He looked across the table at Matt and Abi who, like him had stopped talking and were fixed on the dance floor, nodding their heads to the base of the music.

For a few moments Marco sat watching, clutching his Mojito but not drinking it.

‘Come on lets dance’ Abi said leading Marco on to the dance floor. His whole body was tingling. Each beat of music seemed to separate itself from the rest. Each note was crystal clear. He had never felt music so purely. At first he simply stood in front of Abi who was dancing, hips moving in rhythm to the music. Then he began to follow her. As he danced he was aware of the watching eyes, the groups of people still content to sit down. Ordinarily he would have been self conscious or embarrassed but he didn’t feel it now. If anything he wanted to talk to them, he wanted them to come and dance with him and Abi, all together.

Abi opened her eyes and moved in closer to Marco so that she could be heard, laying a soft hand on his shoulder, leaning in close to his neck.
‘How are you feeling?’
‘Great, I love this music, I feel a little bit hot though, you know like my heart seems to be racing a little, is that normal?’
‘That’s fine sweetie, Abi said squeezing his shoulder and handing him a half full bottle of water which was illuminated bight blue under the glow of the lights. ‘Make sure you drink plenty of that. You can fill it for free in the bathroom.’

From that point on the night seemed to slip through Marco’s fingers. Blurs, shapes sounds. The euphoria of being part of a group. Marco had never felt so overcome with happiness. He loved his new friends. They were dancing together arms around each other. London was here for Marco. He finally belonged. Everyone he walked past smiled; put their arm around him; wanted to dance with him. This was heaven. Marco closed his eyes and let the music wash over him. Every now and again the crowd would scream in appreciation as the DJ lifted the tempo of the music and Marco joined them. He felt like he was living the life that he had always been missing. Halfway through the night Matt handed him another pill. Marco took it and the night sped up even more. He talked to people, they talked to him. He wasn’t shy. People all seemed interested in him. He felt a part of something.

‘I haven't seen you here before’, a small girl with two blond pigtails and a fringe said, leaning into Marco and putting her arm around his neck, the water bottle in her hand hanging around Marco like a neckless. ‘Want some?’
She held a packet of chewing gum in front of Marco’s face and he didn’t know quite what to say.
‘Shit ‘ she said taking a piece from the packet and placing it in Marco´s hand which was clenched without his being conscious of it.
‘Chew this or your will hurt like hell tomorrow?’
‘Ok, thanks, Marco said placing the gum in his mouth but still not sure why. ‘I’m Marco.’ He could hardly hear himself speaking over the sound of the music but she seemed to hear what he was saying. He had caught her smiling at him earlier when he had been dancing near her group.
‘I’m Clare’ she said.
‘What?’
‘Clare, Clare!’
‘Hi, this place is great!’ Marco screamed in the direction of her ear.
‘I know I come here all the time; you should come along with us some time. I know some really great people and I can get your name put on the door whenever you want. Give me a call if you’re keen some time. Here give me your phone I’ll put my number in.’ Clare handed Marco his phone back and drifted away into the crowd. Marco watched her drift away before moving back towards where Matt and Si and Abi were dancing.’