Chapter 12

‘God you should hear this wanker sitting behind me’ Toby said leaning in towards Saffron.
‘Which one?’ Saffron said peering over Toby’s shoulder.
‘Don’t look no. There's a table behind me with a guy and a girl, you’ll see them in a minute.’
‘OK, well what about them?’
‘I’ve been listening to their conversation for a little bit, in between your incessant babbling. The guy is a complete prick.’
‘I suppose you and he would have a lot to talk about’ Saffron said grinning. ‘Anyway Tobe keep your voice down a little he’ll hear you.’
‘Never mind that, a prick like that needs someone to say something.’
‘Holly shit!’ Saffron said, whispering and leaning forward.
‘Hey watch that candle. I'd hate to have to waste this second least expensive bottle of wine putting you out.’
‘Very good Toby now listen, I know the girl with the wanker!’

Until Toby had mentioned it, Saffron hadn't noticed the couple sitting a few feet away from them.

‘Really, who is she?’
‘It’s Selia’
‘Selia?’
‘Selia Simpson-Brown, I haven't seen her since school? No don't turn around you idiot.’ Saffron grabbed Toby by the arm and pulled him back towards the centre of the table.

‘Wait a sec, which Selia Simpson-Brown are you talking about? Mousy brown hair? Terribly posh or at least likes to believe she is? Hours of make- up?’
‘Yeah that’s her how the hell do you know all this.
‘I work with her, or at least we work for the same firm.’ Toby leaned forward a little closer. ‘Let me have a look!’
‘No don't. If we keep quiet maybe she won't notice us.’ Saffron moved her chair a little closer to the wall. So what's she like. I haven’t seen her for years.’
‘I hope she’s not some dear old friend Saff. Actually I really can’t stand her. She's miles up her own arse.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Ah she just seems so keen to be a winner and to fit in that’s all. She needs to chill out a bit and not take life so seriously.’
‘Ah really, I thought she might have changed’ Saffron said, peaking over Toby's shoulder.
‘I quite enjoy making her feel uncomfortable though.’ Toby said with a proud grin. ‘She has a ludicrously high opinion of herself and she can't stand it when people who are ‘below her’ talk to her. I tend to counter this by speaking loudly and regularly to her whenever I can. She's under some mad illusion that a four years qualified lawyer shouldn't dare be seen fraternising with the likes of a paralegal. What she doesn't realise is that she's the only one who behaves like that and it make her stick out like a sore thumb. Anyway how do you know her? Did she go to your horsy school?’

‘Yes my horsy school smart arse. We were in the same house, we were actually in the same room for three years.’
‘Really?’ Toby said grinning and raising his eyebrows. ‘I had no idea you had such a chequered past’
‘Yes really Toby, we were actually lovers. Is that what you want to hear’ Saffron said grinning sarcastically and pinching Toby's arm.
‘Anyway you pathetic teenager, they lumped all of the scholarship girls like us together in the same house. She used to be very arsey about it really. She constantly wanted to be like the rich fee paying girls and was pretty rude to the other girls in our house. She barely spoke to most of them but she and I were sort of forced into a relationship by being plonked beside each other for five years. She was Brown and I was Breeze, in fact I still am, so we were next to each other for most of the things we did.
‘I would have thought she would have been a Simpson’ Toby said.
‘Yeah I know but I think they buggered things up at the beginning and by the time they realised she was a double barrel, everything was organised.’
‘Oh well it doesn't sound like she's changed much. So when was the last time you saw her?’
‘God it must be close to eight years. It’s strange really, because we were sort of forced to live out of each others pockets at St Hilda's and I suppose we were reasonably good friends, in the respect that we spoke to each other quite a lot. You know, kind of like kids at kindergarten who are friends because they are plonked in the same sandpit. But after Hilda’s she went to Cambridge and I went to Art School and that was pretty much that. You always tell people you are going to keep in touch but you know how it is.’
‘I think you've done pretty well there Saff she a bit of a bloody princess.’
‘Really? Ah the poor thing.’
‘Poor thing?’
‘I don’t know. I just feel sorry for her. When we met we were thirteen and she was already deeply insecure about her background. Her father was constantly telling her she had to succeed, Fred Simpson-Brown, god what an old wanker he was.
‘Fred Simpson-Brown?’
‘Yeah apparently he was Fred Brown so no wonder he went for the double barrel thing. He was a real tyrant and he was always telling her not to hang out with the wrong sort of people and that she had to get ahead and take her family with her. He was pretty creepy actually. Whenever he used to come and visit us he used to look at me in a way you shouldn't really look at a teenage girl.

‘What like this?’ Toby said forcing his eyeballs together and touching his nose with his tongue, a skill he had mastered as an eleven year old.’
Saffron burst out laughing before covering her mouth and sinking deeper into her chair. ‘Stop it you pain, I’m telling a serious story here.’
‘Sorry’ Toby said returning to his regular face and forcing a serious look in its place.
‘God you’re a child Toby you know that don’t you. Anyway all I was trying to say was that now I'm not in the least surprised she’s the way she is. It’s just such as shame that’s all. It’s not really her fault.
‘I see what you mean. It certainly explains a few things. Still there are a million excuses out there for why people are wankers. It still doesn't get past the fact that they are wankers though.’
‘Yeah I know, I'm not trying to excuse it, just trying to explain it.’
‘Yeah fair enough. The irony is that by trying to be this super refined, posh, right sort, she really isn't doing herself any favours at work. People notice she is different. Not because of her background, but because she tries so damned hard, and the fact that she erroneously believes she can't fraternise with the support staff’
‘I love it when you use big words!’
Saffron patted Toby on the hand like a well behaved spaniel and took a sip from her glass.
‘Don't get me started. I have a litany of superfluities at my disposal’

Toby raised his glass and Saffron followed suit.
‘To me!’Toby said smiling.
‘To paralegals?’ Selia followed suit leaning in and kissing Toby softly over the glare of the candle.
Toby was slouched casually in front of her, hair slightly ruffled, his top button undone and tie slightly loosened off. For a moment she let the silence hang, instead contemplating how life could change so dramatically, out of nowhere. How one day you can be wandering along as on any other day oblivious of the fact that you're going to bump into someone in a bar and bang, you’re in love.

‘I wonder who the baldy is’, Selia said leaning back and staring over Toby's shoulder.
‘Baldy’ Toby said sitting upright ‘what does he look like.’
‘A baldy!’
‘Come on!’
‘I don't know, balding, suit, early forties, dull. What else can I say? It's hard to tell because your huge head is in the way’
‘It's got to be Butterworth!’ Toby exclaimed excitedly, once again leaning in close.
‘Who the hell is Butterworth’
‘He's a partner in one of the other groups. He doesn't know me, but there has been a bit of a rumour floating around about him and Selia. It must be true.’
‘Really? God, so what's he like.’
‘He's a bit of a nasty piece of work actually. He seems to suffer from the same kind of thing. He’s terribly posh, in his opinion, but you can see how manufactured it is. Refuses to acknowledge people who aren't of immediate benefit to him. He could walk past you for months in the corridor wouldn’t acknowledge you if you were being crushed by a photocopier. Apparently he's been having affairs for years. I hope Selia isn't under some form of impression that she’s ‘special’.
‘Shit don't turn’ Saffron said panicking, she's coming over.’

‘Saffron? Oh my god it is you. I thought I recognised you when I was coming back from the bar before but I wasn't sure. God I haven't seen you since Hildas, it must be nearly ten years.’
‘Selia!’ Saffron said trying her hardest to fake a look of surprise and standing up to accept the hug Selia was launching in her direction.

‘God you look great’. Saffron didn't have to lie. Selia looked the perfect city pin up.
‘You look wonderful too, god the last time I saw you had been accepted to Art School. What happened with that?’
‘It all went well really. I'm actually working as a print designer for a studio in Hoxton.’
‘Really!’ Selia said not quite sure what to say next. ‘That must be fun.’
Selia turned her attention towards Toby for the first time and she was unable to hide the look of shock when she realised she knew the face sitting in front of her.
‘Toby!? What are you doing here? Sorry how are you. I didn’t know you two knew each other?’
‘Hi Selia, yeah, she's my little bit on the side. I've been trying to shake her off for a while now but she just can't resist high powered city types like me.’
Saffron kicked Toby under the table and tried to keep a straight face.
‘so how's do you two know each other’ Saffron asked, from a lack of any obvious alternative.
‘we're great friends at work, aren’t we Selia’ Toby butted in.
‘That's right’ Selia said looking mildly uncomfortable and looking back to her table momentarily, unsure of what to do or say next.
She switched her gaze back to Toby, shocked to see that he was living some sort of normal life beyond the four walls of his work station.
‘Um so, well.’
‘Why don't you join us for a drink’, Toby said feeling mischievous. ‘you guys must have a lot to catch up on. Bring your friend there's plenty of room here’
Selia hesitated. ‘Um ok, I’ll be right back.’

‘What the hell did you do that for’ Saffron said smacking Toby across the shoulder playfully.
‘This should be very amusing. A partner and a paralegal socialising together. Sounds like a movie. Two dames, a partner and a paralegal. Butterworth won't be able to stand it. Should be fun, and besides there's only so long I can sit alone with you before I feel like beating myself over the head with my own shoe.’
‘I really am truly lucky’ Saffron said patting Toby's hand with a mix of affection and sarcasm.

Selia Made her way back to her table and after a moment’s conversation, returned with a begrudging looking Butterworth in tow. Toby stood up and dragged a couple of extra chairs over from a nearby table and placed another candle in the centre. Toby, Saffron this is Steven, Steven Toby, Saffron. The four of them sat down and after a moment Steven, who looked incredibly uncomfortable and genuinely irritated to have been drawn into this broke the silence.
‘so how do you guys know each other’. Toby was amazed. Butterworth seemed positively normal in this context. Almost human like. Mind you he had still managed to abuse the waiter and shout at Selia during the few brief moments he had heard him speaking.’
‘Selia and Saffron went to school together, and Selia and I are great mates at work.’ Toby could see Selia cringe after his last remark.
‘You work at Parkers? Which department, I don't believe I've ever seen you’ Steven said, his tone more surprised than accusatory.
‘Corporate. I'm a paralegal.’
‘Oh’ said Steven, unsure of how to progress the conversation. The word Paralegal had the ability to stop an enraged criminal dead in his track. It has a certain indefinable quality, not unlike a low end wine. Not bad, but certainly not good. ‘Well paralegals are certainly an essential part of the make up of any firm’ Steven said lying.
‘We most certainly are. It's just a shame about the pay. Fortunately I've found myself a rich girlfriend.’
Steven despised this kind of conversation. Ignoring Toby’s comment he persisted.
‘And Saffron, you and Selia went to school together. How splendid.’
‘We did indeed. We were two of the clever scholarship girls.’ Selia blushed visibly, even under the protective shadow of the bunker.

‘We spent practically five year sleeping together’, Saffron said winking at Selia who didn’t seem to know what to do or say.
Toby felt it was time to drag himself back into the conversation, if for no other reason than to push the paralegal cause.
‘So how did you two meet each other? I suppose that's a silly question, work probably?’
There was a moment of stunned silence before Steven interjected.
‘The thing is Toby’ Steven said, seemingly unsure how to go on. ‘Well we're really trying to keep things a little quiet regarding our situation you see. There are a few, ah, complications.’
‘I completely understand Steven, I wouldn't dream of telling my friends about Saffron, I’m punching well below my weight with this one.’
‘Charming isn't he’ Saffron said slapping Toby playfully across the face.
‘But seriously Steven, sort me out with a decent pay rise and our secret is Safffe.’
‘I’m sorry?’ Steven said, not grasping Toby's sense of humour.
‘And a bit of stationary, I can never have enough postit notes.’
Toby could see this was all to much for Steven who was looking so uncomfortable he was visibly squirming in his chair.

‘Don't worry, I’m just teasing, look, I don't socialise with anyone from work, and frankly I don’t think who people decide to spend their time with outside of work is anyone’s business but their own.’

Selia felt overcome, as if she were about to burst into tears. Watching the way Saffron and Toby were so comfortable with each other, the way they could take the piss out of each other in a caring way was like a slap in the face and bought home to her how rediculous her relationship with Steven was. She looked accross at him and could see him suppressing his anger. He was balding, heavily, had perpetual bags under his eyes from a decade of late nights and was growing progressively overweight. At least when they had first got together he had been kind to her but now he had seemed to have fallen into a routine whereby he was just going through the motions. It's not like he was any good in bed. And often these days he would get so pissed on red wine that she would have to help him stagger back to the appartment and into bed before. She looked accross at Steven, balding, not the least bit affectionate. He was far more concerned about saving face than letting himself go and enjoying Selia's company.
‘I'm just going to the bathroom, Selia said rushing slightly so as to avoid anyone noticing her crying.

‘I'll grab another bottle of wine’ Toby said as Steven started to rise from his seat. ‘Relax, you get the next one, or perhaps two.
Toby shuffled away hunched foward to avoid scraping his head on the low sealing and made his way to the bar. The place was almost completely full now with people crouched into every corner, lost in their own conversations. There was a low hum of human voices, too low to be discernable but providing a steady melody in the absence of music. Statues sat alone at the bar, clutching their glasses and eyeing suspiciously anybody who approached. Some of these characters were more fixtures than customers. They gave the place a timeless feel. As if somebody had been sitting in that very same seat for centuries. Toby reached the front of the cue of two or three others and swiftly ordered a bottle. His method of selection was quite simple. Generally he would choose two up from the bottom, depending of course upon the length of the selection.

Steven leaned in a little closer to Saffron, his expression completely changed. ‘it's so nice to meet one of Selia's friends’ he added. ‘and such a beautiful friend at that.’ Selia was obviously still composing herself in the bathroom and Selia glanced hopefully over Steven's shoulder hoping that Toby would emerge soon and rescue her from this situation. She looked closely at Steven. He was physically very non descript, quite unattractive really. He had a rather ghoulish white face, inherited from years of nothing but office light and a lack of any regular exercise. WHat must have started as a receeding line had now crawled up over his forehead, and was now making a steady dash for his neck. He had low sholders and tended to hunch forward in his chair. Of course she could see the attraction for Selia. That is, knowing Selia and how that bastard father of her's had been it all made perfect sense. Objectively Steven was a huge success. Successful, rich, this seemed to be the formula by which Selia had been brain washed from an early age. It had ruined her life as a young child at School, with her constant anxiety about being seen to be behaving the right way, speaking the right way. But a married man. Wasn't it obvious that she was just another little liaison, possibly one of many or if not one of many certainly not the last.

‘Yeah, well it’s very strange seeing Selia all of a sudden. We used to see each other every day and then, well you know how it is , you just change life course, promise to keep in touch and that's it really. I suppose it happens all the time.

toby and selia willl be in the toilet and butterworth will hit on Saffron. She will tell toby on the way home. what to tell Selia. need to look into how a lawyer in the city might lose job because of negligence..